The main character in “Sometimes I Think About Dying” is Fran (Daisy Ridley). She’s silent for the first 22 minutes. There are no words at all. The first thing she says comes across as a simple statement of fact: “I’m Fran. I like cottage cheese.” There isn’t much mystery behind why she says it. Everyone in her office is asked to share their favourite food so that they can introduce themselves. At the same time, we have already seen her eating such a meal made of cottage cheese. She remains mysterious throughout and beyond this point. It must be said though that sometimes it is refreshing when films do not feel compelled to explain everything about themselves. Billy Wilder once put together a list of tips for writers, one item being: “A tip from [Ernst] Lubitsch: Let the audience add up two plus two. They’ll love you forever.” This indicates how Sometimes I Think About Dying directed by Rachel Lambert operates and mostly succeeds.
Fran lives in a small town in the Pacific Northwest; she works in an office where she creates spreadsheets all day long while overhearing banal conversations among her colleagues; Fran does not stand out much within the group of people who work closely with each other (the film really captures what these jobs involve, down to the excitement generated when someone presents donuts for everyone.) Every night, however, after pouring herself some wine, eating cottage cheese and completing Sudoku puzzles before going to bed again, nothing else changes in Fran’s life — until death starts haunting her dreams during the daytime recently awakened life! She dies alone on an empty shore or among crawling insects on the ground or even hanging from a crane; these fantasies are terrifyingly suicidal but never turn into actual acts of self-destruction; nor does she appear notably morose; indeed everybody begs us to explain why.
And then walking through this suicidal-ideation fugue state of hers comes a new employee, Robert (Dave Merheje), who is outgoing and friendly. He doesn’t ignore her like everybody else, he has never met her before so does not have a preset opinion about her. They go to the movies together. Afterward they get pie. They are invited to a party where people play murder mystery games. Fran speaks and gets involved for once in her life. She tends to be quite literal; she doesn’t really “get” jokes or subtlety, but he finds it interesting. Robert likes her too. Fran’s death fantasies now feature comical visions of Roberts: anything could happen from here on out.
It all sounds rather cheesy actually, but “Sometimes I Think About Dying” isn’t that way at all for the most part because of Lambert’s dreamy, somewhat surreal approach . These shots aren’t merely used as transitional second unit material; instead, they are integrated into the story line—sometimes appearing during scenes unexpectedly—that seem to come from Fran’s disassociated state.” This subjective sentimentality is what makes Fran’s world become almost dream-like again just like those river shots ,street scenes washed by rain or sunsets filled with circling birds that surround the town where she lives in life . The same effect happens as well when one looks at her house. It feels fifty years old decoration-wise with china cabinets and fsloral-patterned armchairs being present in it! Is it possible that this was left behind by her grandmother? We will never know this information though!
Fran is a character who Ridley has deftly avoided its pitfalls. Fran may not talk much, but she is not timid. In addition, Ridley does not make Fran too quirky. What one sees in her is a fantastic impression of abstraction, as though Fran can only just speak with the person standing before her; dragged out of her death-wish fantasy life. There are no cliches for Awkward Lonely Girl in Ridley’s hands concerning Fran. She is an enigma though. Moreover, Robert Merheje as Robert is delightful. Furthermore, Robert comes across to be a real guy with a knack for people and an appreciation of time as well as ease in public.
Fran appears like silence most of the time when talking about Merheje’s short story book “Sometimes I Think About Dying” and yet there are no explanations given for him having such interest on this woman who barely talks at all during the film making process itself that makes it so interesting sometimes i think about dying (2019). It would need another “act” to wrap up its arc fully. A bridge that was never finished or perhaps an unfinished bridge. The film seeks to have catharsis later on, but it provides insufficient detail necessary for its completion; thus we cannot cross the river
This might partly owe to how it came into being as a concept and why it remains unaccomplished until now. Horowitz also co-wrote Sometimes I Think About Dying along with Katy Wright-Mead and Kevin Armento, based on their 2019 award-winning short film directed by Horowitz which was awarded Short Film Jury Award: Non-Fiction at this year’s Sundance Film Festival where they both were members of jury panels evaluating documentaries in competition category! But this 2013 play Killers by Armento influenced his short film from which he expunged everything except death-wish character.
The resultant feel of unfinished business could be connected to its origin. Co-written by Stefanie Abel Horowitz, Kevin Armento, and Katy Wright-Mead, “Sometimes I Think About Dying” is a full-length expansion of Horowitz’s award-winning short film from 2019. Meanwhile, in 2013, Armento made Killers a play with two independent yet overlapping storylines one of which involved a woman who often dreamt about dying. Hence, the film adaptation focuses solely on the concept of death-wish without considering other narratives. This may explain why it feels incomplete as an end result; however, the pieces do not fit together correctly.
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